‘My fiancé’s surname is extremely embarrassing I don’t want to take it’
It’s important, to be honest in your relationship – it’s the only way to maintain a healthy connection.
But while it’s a trait that’s highly valued, you also have to be diplomatic, as you don’t want to hurt your partner unnecessarily.
One woman faces a rather delicate situation – she is set to marry the love of her life, but his surname is really “embarrassing” as it is “associated with penises.”
Now she’s facing a dilemma – what do you do? Do you take the name and ignore any crude jokes? Or should you keep your own surname, and potentially insult him.
Taking to Mumsnet, the woman explained: “My boyfriend proposed to me a couple of weeks ago, which I am beyond delighted about. He is a great guy and we suit each other well.
“Something that is causing me a lot of anxiety (hence why I am awake at 2.44am) is the prospect of having to take his name. He has a pretty embarrassing surname. I don’t want to write it here because it could be outing but it could be likened to something like ‘Meacock’.
“I like my surname, it is fairly standard, think along the lines of ‘Richards’, and I feel that there is a real dilemma in taking his name. At the risk of sounding petty: I don’t like it, If we have children (which we hope to), they will be obvious targets for bullies [and] I prefer my surname.
“A simple solution would be for him to take my surname – I mean it is the 21st century – but he is pretty traditional so I doubt he would want to do that [and] I don’t want to offend him or his family by suggesting this
She added: “If I keep my surname. I would also like to have the same surname as any potential children so me keeping mine and him having his wouldn’t really work.
“I have thought about double barrelling but Richards-Meacock still isn’t great. I know I am being petty as I would have no problem with taking his name if it wasn’t so embarrassing and associated with penises.”
Lots of people had fairly practical suggestions, with one writing: “Why on earth do you think this is petty?
“You’re a grown woman, it’s your name, just don’t change it. Give your kids your name and if DF is so keen on having the same name as you and them then he can change his. Don’t give it another single moment of worry.”
Another commented: “Well you didn’t run and hide when you heard his last name, don’t imagine children will care.
“I know some pretty weird surnames and never heard any jokes. The weirder the surname, usually the older the history.”
A third added: “I grew up with the kind of “Hardcock” surname you describe. Your fiancé will have been teased for it at some point, I can guarantee. Find a solution now and don’t put your children through it.”